Lost Smile
by Mnemosyne's Elegy
Summary: When Hak and Soo-Won meet for the first time since the betrayal, Soo-Won has to face what he's done to his old friend and Yona has to stop Hak from doing something he'll never recover from. And, just maybe, Yona can figure out how to bring Hak's smile back.


**Note: _(For my reference: based off ch 91-92.)_**

* * *

Soo-Won stopped in his tracks as Hak swept out of nowhere. The nadai merchant's dagger, once aimed at Yona's heart, now stuck deep into Hak's arm.

Soo-Won's hands tightened into fists at his sides and then relaxed again. This was the first time he'd seen Hak since that fateful night at the palace, the first time since he'd learned Hak wasn't dead after all. The nostalgia and sense of loss accompanying his appearance were just as strong as they had been with Yona's, and Soo-Won gave them the similar treatment of tamping them back down just as quickly as they had resurfaced. He had made his choice and sacrificed his friends to do it, and that was that.

Hak's self-sacrificial protection of Yona was exactly the same as Soo-Won remembered. The dark, cold, empty look in his eyes was not.

However much the knife-wielding criminal was digging himself into a hole, Soo-Won doubted that look was really for him.

The merchant with the scarred face tried to yank his weapon out of Hak's arm, but it didn't budge. "Step aside! My business is with that girl!"

Soo-Won knew the words were a mistake as soon as they left the man's mouth. One did not threaten Yona in front of Hak and expect to get away with it.

Hak's punch was quick and savage, bone and cartilage crunching as his fist connected with the man's face. Blood spurted from the merchant's nose and mouth, and he stayed in an unconscious heap on the ground.

Hak stayed motionless for a moment, his face utterly blank, but then pulled the knife out of his arm in one swift, curt motion. It clattered to the ground, and blood gushed down his arm.

Soo-Won noted that every new arrival from Hak's group that had entered the scene during the short and brutal confrontation was watching with some mixture of surprise and wariness. They could already tell that something was off. Anyone who threatened Yona would be dealt with harshly, but that man's treatment wouldn't have been so callous if not for Soo-Won's presence.

Soo-Won met Hak's eyes across the intervening space. He kept his face set in cool, unyielding lines, but it was nothing compared to the shadow covering Hak's face. He couldn't compete with that dark, cold, empty look in Hak's eyes—the look that was meant for him.

"Hak," said Yona, "you're bleed–"

She stopped abruptly, sensing the showdown taking place. Hak started forward, one slow, steady, relentless step at a time. The blood trickled down his arm and marked out a crimson trail on the road behind him, and the shadow cast over his face darkened with every step. It was hard for Soo-Won to see much of the Hak he remembered underneath the dazed, shadowy bloodlust.

He should move, draw his weapon, anything. But he was caught up in Hak's gaze and couldn't seem to remember how to make his body work.

Some of his guards lunged for Hak, but he took them down with efficiently brutal maneuvers, easily sending them to the ground with punches and broken bones. He barely spared them a glance. His quarrel wasn't with them.

General Joo-Doh flew forward and slashed his swords across Hak's chest, and a fine spray of blood misted the air.

"Hak!" yelled Yona and one of her friends.

The attack fazed Hak not at all, and Soo-Won could see that even Joo-Doh was taken aback by the dark fury on his opponent's face. Hak wasted no time whipping his leg up into Joo-Doh's stomach and slamming a fist into his face. The general, hardened battle warrior though he was, went flying.

Hak didn't even look to make sure he stayed down. He only continued his inexorable approach, his face darkening further and further the closer he got to his target.

This, then, was what Soo-Won had made of his old friend with his betrayal. It was really a shame.

Hak's hand shot out, reaching for Soo-Won's face, and Soo-Won suddenly realized that he had made a severe miscalculation and Hak would really kill him.

Another hand reached out and latched around Hak's wrist, stopping his hand in its tracks. It was his green-haired companion, and he was either extremely brave or extremely foolish for getting in Hak's way now.

Hak's fingers twitched. His eyes and face and voice were empty and dead.

"…Get out of my way," he said in a monotone.

"Do you know them?" the green-haired man asked. "Maybe you have your reasons, but they're Lili's bodyguards and they cooperated with us in this fight. They were on our side."

"…Our side?" Hak's eyes settled on some point that should have been Soo-Won's face but wasn't, glazed and empty. "Our side, you say?"

Soo-Won kept his face carefully blank. There had been a time when there hadn't been sides at all, where if there had been, it would have been him and Yona and Hak against the world. But now there were sides, and Hak would never be on Soo-Won's side again.

"At least put your hand down." The green-haired man kept his voice calm and reasonable, almost like he was trying to reason with a wild animal, but his eyes were wary. "You've lost too much blood and we need to treat your wounds quickly."

"Let me go."

"I'll let you go once you settle down."

And that was when Hak exploded, his cold, almost zombie-like daze finally flaring into hot fury.

"Let me go!" he roared, whipping his fist around and slamming it into his comrade's chest.

The green-haired man went down, and Hak stared down at him with that shadow still consuming his features. Soo-Won's fingers curled back into fists. He didn't claim to understand the relationship Hak and Yona had with their newest companions, but he knew that however much Hak could tease or mock or seem callous, he wouldn't try to seriously injure a friend or anyone who was on his side.

…Then again, what did Soo-Won really know about Hak anymore?

Soo-Won watched with wide eyes as the green-haired man kicked Hak and the two began fighting. He watched as the former called for one of his companions to help hold Hak back before he jeopardized his life going on a rampage with his untreated wounds. And even when they did manage to restrain him, Soo-Won was still transfixed by that look. He had known, of course, that Hak would hate him now, but somehow seeing that rage and bloodlust really drove home what he had done and what he had given up and how it had changed his childhood friends.

Even when Joo-Doh and his retinue rushed over and began ushering him away to safety, Hak's shouts rang in his ears.

"Let me go! Let me go! He is the only one–!"

And then silence.

"Hak." Yona's voice, quiet.

Soo-Won turned back despite himself, despite his cold, calculating mind telling him that he should walk away for good.

"Your Majesty, let's go," Joo-Doh urged.

Yona had stopped Hak with one word, one gesture. She stood before him now, her small hand resting lightly on his large, outstretched, bloodied one.

"It's alright," she said softly. "I'm…alright."

Hak's eyes were wider now, emptier again. His hand trembled. His desperate rage was dying down, but not quite quelled.

"Let…me…"

"You haven't smiled in a long time, Hak." Yona tilted her head down, hair and hood falling forward. "You sometimes tease or mess around, but you don't smile like you used to…like you're happy. I'm afraid that if you kill him, you won't ever smile again."

Ah, Yona. Soo-Won should have known that her intervention would be for Hak's benefit rather than his.

Hak stilled. His hand dropped and he went slack in his companions' grip. He said nothing, but the fight drained out of him.

"Your majesty!" Joo-Doh hissed.

Soo-Won still remembered their childhood fondly. Hak had always been a little grumpy and aloof, not easily impressed or moved to emotion, but he had smiled from time to time. Back when the three of them were the closest of friends, they'd had good times and laughed and smiled together. Yona's smiles had been like the sun, but Hak's had been just as beautiful, if only because they weren't so frequent and softened his entire face to give the others a glimpse of what lay underneath his tough exterior.

Soo-Won turned away and started down the street again—away from the ones who had been his friends in another lifetime. It was a pity he'd had to take those smiles away.

* * *

Yona watched anxiously as Yun bandaged Hak's wounds back at their camp, but Hak gave no further indication of what he was thinking or feeling. His wild, out-of-control fury from before was gone. Now his face was blank and his eyes empty as he stared at the ground.

The dragon warriors shifted about awkwardly and looked for any chore to give themselves something to do, from building a fire to setting a pot of water boiling in preparation for dinner. Yun complained about Hak's bothersome injuries like he often did while dressing wounds, but his voice sounded funny and it was obvious that he was just trying to fill the silence.

Hak didn't seem to be listening. Yona wasn't either, her mind still caught up in that dreadful confrontation with Soo-Won.

"You should rest in the tent now," Yun said finally, setting aside his medical supplies.

"Good idea," Kija said immediately. "I'll bring him his dinner when it's ready."

Hak finally lifted his eyes from the ground, and they caught on Kija's face. His face remained blank, but something flickered in his eyes past the emptiness.

Kija froze under the unexpected scrutiny, but then understanding lit his eyes and he lifted a hand to his cheek.

"Oh," he said. His gaze slid to the side. "It's a mosquito bite. It's so itchy, I can't take it."

It was an obvious lie when the beginnings of a bruise were already forming high on his cheekbone where Hak had hit him in his attempts to break free and get at Soo-Won, but Yona felt a new surge of affection for Kija because of it.

Hak's gaze slid from Kija to Jae-ha, the other recipient of his attacks. The older man half-smiled and shrugged. Hak dropped his eyes back to the ground and they narrowed slightly.

He said nothing, but stood and turned away to head for the tent. Yun jumped to his feet and ran after him, calling back that he'd get started on supper once he'd gotten Hak properly settled.

Some of the tension bled out of the remaining companions at Hak's departure, but the mood stayed somber.

"Now, _there's_ a mess," Jae-ha said into the silence.

"I can't believe that man was Soo-Won," Kija mumbled.

"It explains why the little miss was unsettled," Zeno offered. "The mister was even more so."

Yona clasped her hands together in her lap and shifted about on the log she'd seated herself on. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"It's…okay," Shin-ah said in a mumble.

"I don't know…" Kija shook his head. "Next time, I might not stop him."

"Hak wasn't his usual self, so I knew something was up…" Jae-ha sighed through a smile that was more melancholy than usual. "But I wonder if I stuck my nose in too far."

Kija shook his head slightly. "I understand…what you were trying to protect."

Jae-ha's smile turned more blue as he looked away. Yona understood too. She had been trying to protect something as well, although she was afraid she hadn't done a very good job of it. Hak was always protecting her, and it killed her that she couldn't protect him the same way.

"No," she said, "it's good that you stopped him."

Kija sighed. "Is it?"

Yona nodded and looked down at her hands as they tightened in her lap. "I…have been selfish."

"You? Selfish?" Kija laughed, but Yona wasn't amused.

"It was such a shock to have my father and my home and my life torn away all at once that sometimes I forget Hak was betrayed too."

Her friends exchanged a look.

"The Thunder Beast is just worried about protecting you," Jae-ha said carefully. "He gets so upset because of the tragedy you suffered. That's all."

"You're wrong," Yona said softly. "Hak also lost his place in my father's court and his status as general and the Wind Tribe, which he considered his family. He gave up everything when he chose me over Soo-Won."

"Well, he _is_ the Thunder Beast. He would do anything to protect you."

"He was trying to protect you from Soo-Won this time too," Kija added. "You know he gets worked up when he thinks you're in trouble."

Yona stared into the crackling flames and lost herself in them. That was only half the story, and she knew it. Hak devoted himself fully to protecting her, but that didn't mean he didn't have feelings and wishes and demons of his own.

"Hak and Soo-Won were very close friends," she said to the fire. "Even when we were kids, it was hard not to admire Hak. Everyone respected him, and Soo-Won looked up to him and wanted to be like him.

"And Hak, he trusted Soo-Won. He trusted Soo-Won with my father. He trusted Soo-Won with me. Soo-Won was one of the very few people he trusted completely. And I don't think he's ever forgiven himself for it. He hasn't smiled since."

There was a heavy silence as the others digested that.

Then Kija laughed nervously. "It's hard to imagine him smiling."

"I think that maybe part of the reason he gives you all such a hard time is that he's afraid to trust anyone else like that again." Yona bowed her head and felt tears gather in the corners of her eyes. "Hak is so strong that sometimes it's easy to forget that he hurts too. He's just better at hiding it than the rest of us."

After another pause, Jae-ha sighed. "The Thunder Beast always has to go and make things complicated, doesn't he?"

Yona's head jerked up and she blinked at the ring of troubled faces around the fire. "Don't tell him I said any of that!" she said quickly, realizing what she had done. "He'd hate it."

Jae-ha gave her a lopsided grin. "Like I'd tell him anything."

"And…thank you for stopping him. If he killed Soo-Won, I don't think he would ever be the same. And that is…something worth protecting."

Kija exchanged a look with Jae-ha before saying, "We didn't stop him, Princess. You did."

And Yona didn't know if that was entirely true, but she had fought to protect what was left of Hak's heart and that had to count for something.

.

Hak stayed quiet and withdrawn over the next day or two, but quickly went back to acting like a more subdued version of his usual self. It was almost as if nothing had ever happened, if Yona could ignore the quiet somberness that hung over him.

But he was back to functioning as a member of their group, and that was enough for now. Now, if only his wounds would heal. The one on his arm didn't seem to have healed at all, and it was deep. That one bothered Yona, because it was one he had because of her. She could still vividly see the moment when he'd jumped in front of her and Zeno and the dagger had plunged deep into his arm. He was always getting hurt because of her.

She took her thoughts deeper into the woods, where she wandered and gathered usable firewood from among the leaf litter. In fact, she was so lost in thought that she didn't notice the new arrival at first.

"It's going to get dark. Please return to the tent."

Yona straightened up and clutched her burden in front of her, swallowing hard as she stared at Hak. He was watching her with his normal inscrutable expression, his eyes dark and carefully guarded.

Yona nodded and followed along beside him as they turned back for their camp. He looked straight ahead, and she took the opportunity to watch him sidelong. The memories of his face when he had seen Soo-Won threatened to drown her.

"Hak?" she asked in a small voice, finally working up the courage to unburden her tongue and heart.

"Hm?" Hak's gaze slid to the side and roamed over her face. "What is it, Princess?"

Yona swallowed hard and looked away. "I-I'm sorry. I've been selfish and I should have thought about how you–"

"Enough." Hak's voice sliced through her nervous rambling. "You should not be apologizing to me for anything."

"But–"

"Princess."

Yona fell silent and her lips trembled. She had known that something like this would be unbearably difficult to discuss with Hak, but she so wished that she could say the words sitting on the tip of her tongue. If only he wanted to hear them.

While she was lost in these new thoughts, Hak reached over and took the bundle of sticks from her, tucking them under his arm. She stared blankly at her empty hands and then at Hak, but then reality slapped her in the face.

"No!" She snatched them back. "The wound on your arm still hasn't healed at all."

"It's not a problem." Hak's expression stayed blank as he tugged them back out of her grasp, but she noticed that he tucked them under his uninjured arm this time.

Yona wished he would just let her do this small thing for him, but Hak would be Hak. She slipped her hand into his before giving herself the chance to think better of it, and gave it an exploratory squeeze.

"See?" she protested. "You have no hand strength!"

Her only warning was the tilting of Hak's head and straight slant to his mouth. He squeezed back, and it felt like every bone in her hand was crushed all at once.

"Ouch!" she cried. She tugged her hand back out of his, although she was only able to pull away when he released her. He was staring straight ahead again, a deceptively innocent expression plastered on his face. "No way! You have such a terrible wound! What kind of muscles do you have?"

Hak let out a quick, quiet chuckle, his eyes closing as a small smile lit his face. Yona stopped in her tracks and stared in shock. He…smiled. It softened his whole face and transported Yona back to a time in her idyllic childhood when they had been _happy_.

Hak walked forward a few more steps before noticing that she was no longer following. He turned back and fixed her with a puzzled look.

"Princess?" he asked. Yona could only stare, and felt the hot tears gathering in the corners of her eyes again. Hak's expression turned more alarmed. "What…?"

Yona sniffed and rubbed at her eyes, but the tears only started coming faster. "It–it's not that… I'm just so relieved…" She scrubbed at her face and tilted it down as if to hide it. "I hate how I'm always showing you my weak side."

The next thing she knew, Hak had stepped forward and dropped a hand onto her head, pulling her into his chest as he looked out over her bowed head.

"I don't see a thing."

Even though he was wounded and aching from Soo-Won's betrayal and reappearance, he was still trying to protect her. And the smile, too. He had smiled for her, because of what she had said. Because she wanted him to. He was always looking out for her no matter what.

One day, she would protect him too.

Yona choked on a sob and threw her arms around him, ignoring his sharp intake of breath. And she prayed to any god that was listening for all of his wounds to be healed, both those on his body and on his heart.


End file.
